Toddlers (1-2 years of age)

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 Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking a first step, smiling for the first time, and waving “bye-bye” are called developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like crawling, walking, or jumping).

During the second year, toddlers are moving around more, and are aware of themselves and their surroundings. Their desire to explore new objects and people also is increasing. During this stage, toddlers will show greater independence; begin to show defiant behavior; recognize themselves in pictures or a mirror; and imitate the behavior of others, especially adults and older children. Toddlers also should be able to recognize the names of familiar people and objects, form simple phrases and sentences, and follow simple instructions and directions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:

• Read to your toddler daily.

• Ask her to find objects for you or name body parts and objects.

• Play matching games with your toddler, like shape sorting and simple puzzles.

• Encourage him to explore and try new things.

• Help to develop your toddler’s language by talking with her and adding to words she starts. For example, if your toddler says “baba”, you can respond, “Yes, you are right―that is a bottle.”

• Encourage your child’s growing independence by letting him help with dressing himself and feeding himself.

• Respond to wanted behaviors more than you punish unwanted behaviors (use only very brief time outs). Always tell or show your child what she should do instead.

• Encourage your toddler’s curiosity and ability to recognize common objects by taking field trips together to the park or going on a bus ride.

Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well. Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

• Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes, whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the leading cause of injury and death among this age group.

• Block off stairs with a small gate or fence. Lock doors to dangerous places such as the garage or basement.

• Ensure that your home is toddler proof by placing plug covers on all unused electrical outlets.

• Keep kitchen appliances, irons, and heaters out of reach of your toddler. Turn pot handles toward the back of the stove.

• Keep sharp objects such as scissors, knives, and pens in a safe place.

• Lock up medicines, household cleaners, and poisons.

• Do NOT leave your toddler alone in any vehicle (that means a car, truck, or van) even for a few moments.

• Store any guns in a safe place out of his reach.

• Keep your child’s car seat rear-facing as long as possible. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration 

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•  it’s the best way to keep her safe. Your child should remain in a rear-facing car seat until she reaches the top height or weight limit allowed by the car seat’s manufacturer. Once your child outgrows the rear-facing car seat, she is ready to travel in a forward-facing car seat with a harness.

Positive Parenting Tip Sheet

Toddlers (1-2 years of age) 

[PDF – 772K]

Healthy Bodies

• Give your child water and plain milk instead of sugary drinks. After the first year, when your nursing toddler is eating more and different solid foods, breast milk is still an ideal addition to his diet.

• Your toddler might become a very picky and erratic eater. Toddlers need less food because they don’t grow as fast. It’s best not to battle with him over this. Offer a selection of healthy foods and let him choose what she wants. Keep trying new foods; it might take time for him to learn to like them.

• Limit screen time and develop a media use plan for your family.

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•  For children younger than 18 months of age, the AAP recommends that it’s best if toddlers not use any screen media other than video chatting.

• Your toddler will seem to be moving continually—running, kicking, climbing, or jumping. Let him be active—he’s developing his coordination and becoming strong.

• Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For toddlers 1-2 years, 11–14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

For More Information

• Infants and toddlers

• Preschool

• Middle childhood

• Adolescence

CDC’s “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” Campaign
For more details on developmental milestones, warning signs of possible developmental delays, and information on how to help your child’s development, visit the “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” campaign website.

CDC’s Parent Information (Children 0―3 years)
This site has information to help you learn how to give your child a healthy start in life.

CDC’s Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers
Learn ways you can help build a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship with your child.

CDC’s Breastfeeding Information
This site has answers to frequently asked questions about breastfeeding.

CDC’s Information on Infant and Toddler Nutrition
Tips for Parents – Ideas to help children maintain a healthy weight.

CDC’s Protect the Ones You Love
CDC’s Injury Center has information on how you can protect your child from drowning and other common causes of injury.

CDC’s Information on Vaccinations
View the immunization schedule for infants and children and find out if your child’s vaccinations are up to date.

1 Year Old Behavior
– The Start of Big Emotions

It finally happened. Your adorable chubby little angel baby has magically transformed into a busy bustling toddler overnight. Ok, maybe it wasn’t magical, and it wasn’t overnight but it sure feels this way. If it’s your last baby, your feels about them turning a year may be all the stronger. And you may be a little anxious about your 1 year old’s behavior. After all, toddlers are feared by most new parents. But fear not, there is so much fun to come. And the behaviors are easy to handle when you know how.

I, personally, think that the second year of a child’s life is an incredible time. Those 1 year old angles are more independent, inquisitive, interactive, but are not quite as tantrumy or willful yet. It’s simply fun watching your young toddler interact with the world and gain new understanding of how things work. So what can you expect in the second year of your child’s life?

Lots of Sensory Play

Allow your 1 year to engage in loud sensory activities. Banging a spoon on the table may seem like an incredibly irritating activity to you, but to your toddler it’s serving so many purposes. There is a cause and effect (spoon on table makes loud noise), sensory experience (the loud noise), social acceptance of behavior (how are parents reacting to this). It’s just amazing.

Same goes for messy eating and playing. LET THEM DO IT!!!!! I can’t stress enough the importance of messy play for your child. The sensory input they get from touching, tasting, and smelling different textures is so important for their development. It allows them to develop curiosity about the world around them. Helps facilitate physical development by improving motor functions. Gives an opportunity to start practicing independent play (which you will want them to do as soon as possible, for your own sake). And lastly – it’s just plain FUN!

Expose Your 1 Year Old To Music

This is so easy and so fun to do. Turn on music when you’re just playing around the house with your child. Play baby tunes for them in order to facilitate some rhyme and sound recognition. Listen to classical music to stimulate their brain. Listen to dance music, hip-hop, country – whatever you’re into. Or just pick up some spoons and start banging on buckets to create a one of a kind melody. Just have fun with it.

Research has shown that music is incredibly beneficial for children’s overall cognitive and socio-emotional development. A study done by the Brain and Creativity Institute at USC found that children who have been involved in formal music training starting at the age of 6, showed a more maturity in their auditory system than their non-musical peers. This is important because a more mature auditory system has the potential for accelerated acquisition of language and reading skills.

Blow Bubbles Together

Bubbles are by far my favorite activity for a kid of any age. They are an inexpensive way to truly engage your child. Bubbles help them work on blowing skills, which them transfer to things like eating and talking. You can teach cause and effect this way (blow and bubbles form). And your 1 year old ill happily expel some energy by running around or crawling to chase those bubbles wherever they go.

Story Time

Most parents love reading books to their children. It’s a wonderfully calm activity. But it’s also an activity that nourishes our children’s brains and hearts. It’s an opportunity to connect and cuddle, to explore, and to learn.

So, make sure you dedicate at least some of your day to reading books. And don’t get discouraged if your child won’t sit and listen to the book for longer than 30 seconds. It’s ok. They’re little and their attention span is short. Pick bright colored and sturdy books that little hands can explore. I love books with flaps to encourage extra curiosity from my children. Enjoy this wonderful activity together!

How Budding Emotions will Affect Your 1 Year Old’s Behavior

One of the things that your child will be working on this year is figuring out what is socially acceptable. They will test out various behaviors and watch your reactions. So it’s very important to set the stage right for the future.

Food Throwing

For example, kids love throwing food around, and they will watch to see how you react to this behavior. For the most part, when your kid is throwing food – they are either full or really don’t like the food.

Now you have a couple of choices. You can calmly say, “I see you’re throwing food and I think it means you’re ready to play” or if you think they still want to eat say “I see you’re not liking this food, let’s try something else.”

The important thing is to remember not to overreact and not get angry. They are not doing this to spite you. But because they don’t have language yet, this is the only way they can show you what they want or don’t want.

Inappropriate Play

They will also engage in a lot of “inappropriate” play (essentially things they think are fun but you may not). It could be throwing things down the toilet, playing with pet food or water bowls, opening and closing drawers, etc.

They have no malicious intent behind it, they’re just exploring and having fun. So you will need to do a lot of calm correction and redirection. You will need to say “No, we don’t do …….” and then re-engage them in a different activity. Be prepared to repeat it a million times, and don’t expect any adherence to the rules for a while.

Separation Anxiety

Another thing that will creep up this year (if it hasn’t already) is separation anxiety. (If you want to find out more about separation anxiety and how to deal with it, read 5 Ways to Help Your Child Deal With Separation Anxiety).

It may be distressing to you but it’s totally normal. It means your child has a healthy attachment to you and wants you close. What it doesn’t mean, is you needing to run and comfort them the moment they start crying because you left their sight. If you respond that way, they will always cry when you leave because they will expect you to come back right away. 

A better way would be to turn and say “There is no need to cry, mommy will be right back”. Or if you are leaving them with a caregiver, just give a quick kiss, say you love them and will be back, then leave. No drama, no lingering, clean exit.

Main Takeaways

Overall look at this year as a way to set the stage for the future. Practice continuing being in tune with your child (what do they want, what are they trying to express, what can their behavior mean), narrate experiences to them, explain why they can or can’t do something, start teaching them the names of their emotions, practice and grow your empathy skills.

It is such a magical time in their emotional, cognitive and social behavior. Have fun with it, get to know your child better, enjoy them. The 2s will come sooner than you think and a whole other level of patience will be needed.

Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Families in Home Settings

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Introduction

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The home environment, including a child’s relationship with parents and primary caregivers, is the biggest influence on a child’s ability to develop self-regulation skills. Home visiting professionals have a unique opportunity to help both the child and parent or caregiver develop self-regulation skills and to help strengthen their relationship.

Purpose

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Home visitors can use the tips provided within this document to help caregivers support the specific self-regulation skills their child is developing. This is one of four early childhood practitioner tip sheets. For each of four groups of early childhood practitioners (i.e., those working with infants in childcare settings; those working with toddlers in classroom settings; those working with preschool children in classroom settings; and those working in home settings), these tip sheets provide the following: a review of key concepts related to self-regulation; a listing of the skills developing in that age group; six co-regulation tips for caregivers to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age; and specific details within each of the six co-regulation tips. Caregivers can use the tips provided within each resource to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age. Most of the material is based on the reports and briefs in the Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress Series (/opre/research/project/ toxic-stress-and-self-regulation-reports) prepared for the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) by the Duke Center for Family Policy and the UNC Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute.

Highlights

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• Six sets of tips are provided for practitioners working with families in home settings:Establish a strong relationship with each family.Help caregivers build their own self-regulation capacity.Strengthen and support the caregiver-child relationship.Work with caregivers to cultivate calm and structured home environments that support child development.Help caregivers learn how to respond with both warmth and structure during stressful moments.Provide opportunities for families to build social support connections.

• Home visiting work can be stressful. Remember to start with you.

• Some families in home visiting programs may be experiencing economic strain and other adversity and may need extra help to manage stress.

• Home visitors may need to work with mental health services or other support programs to assist parents and caregivers with specific challenges, such as coping with depression or managing a child’s challenging behaviors.

Citation

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Glossary

Self-Regulation:

The act of managing thoughts and feelings to enable goal-directed actions.

Co-Regulation:

The supportive process between caring adults and children, youth, or young adults that fosters self-regulation

Introducing Discipline to Baby

The whats, whens, and hows of disciplining your young child.

When to Start

Discipline, undeniably one of the most important elements of parenting, is also among the most misunderstood, difficult, and anxiety provoking. Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, points out that often parents are afraid of being too permissive and they're afraid of being too tough.

Discipline is complicated, especially with babies younger than 2 who don't communicate very well. And it's important to remember that discipline is not a synonym for punishment, Nelsen points out. Discipline is less about playing the tough cop and more about playing the kindly teacher. Here's an approximate time line for introducing routines, rules, and general good behavior.

First Year of Life

0 to 4 months: Pamper your infant

With babies younger than four months, it's important to respond quickly and consistently. This ensures that they stay healthy -- promptly changing wet diapers, for instance, reduces the likelihood of diaper rash. Consistently meeting baby's needs also makes him feel more secure: It shows your baby that you can be relied upon. If you establish this bedrock of trust in infancy, your baby is more likely to accept limits later on.

4 to 6 months: Get in the groove

At this age, parents can begin setting limits. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, parents should use "generally structured daily routines." If baby can rely on these routines, he's less likely to fuss or struggle. Routines should help calm your baby and encourage him to behave, but should be flexible enough to accommodate his emotions.

Here is an example of a diaper-changing routine:

1. Baby lies down and holds a certain toy.

2. You sing a certain song while changing the diaper.

3. After you're done, he gets a kiss.

You can also establish routines for bathing baby, strapping him into his car seat, and feeding him dinner.

6 to 12 months: Lay down the law

Parents can begin teaching house rules around six months, when the baby starts to comprehend cause and effect. A baby this age can memorize actions and reactions -- when I turn the cup over, the juice pours out -- but she's not yet able to fully control her behavior.

The mantra until then: Be patient and consistent. Though babies under a year old don't understand what "no" means, they do respond to the tone of a parent's voice and can be redirected. In fact, redirection -- also known as distraction -- is the most useful tool from now until age 2. For example, find a toy or move your baby to another room to get her away from the stairs.

Baby in Motion

Any time from 8 months on -- and definitely by baby's first birthday -- he can get himself into trouble. Soon after he's crawling or walking, however, the danger grows. He can suddenly climb up a bookcase, pull out electrical cords, and knock things off a table.

More effective than screaming "Get away from that!" is taking baby to another room while telling him that a chair is for sitting on. While a 3-year-old may understand a lesson in how the chair can fall over and hurt him, such reasoning won't work with a 1-year-old -- that's why distraction is vital.

Set up "activity stations" in areas where there's the most potential for baby to get in trouble -- small boxes of toys in the kitchen, for example. That way baby can be redirected when you are on the phone or trying to fix a meal.

Age 1 and Up

1 to 2 years: Try patience

Now that he's officially entered toddlerhood, you will need to learn new techniques for setting limits.

Toddlers, unlike younger babies, understand some of the explanations for why they can't behave a certain way, but they still aren't able to control themselves. For the child who grabs toys, a parent should distract him with another toy or help him "take turns." The best technique for dealing with tantrums is waiting the child out, remaining calm and firm.

2 and up: Time for a time-out

Concepts such as sharing are puzzling for a child under 3, as are explanations linked to time, such as "You can color when we get back from the store." Your toddler wants to color now! These tricky concepts won't help you distract your toddler, because she doesn't understand them. And because they don't mean much to her, you shouldn't think she's misbehaving, either.

Once a child passes age 2, discipline gets easier. She can finally understand why she shouldn't do something. Parents should begin introducing mild punishments (mainly time-outs) for when the child knowingly behaves badly.

Remember that discipline is a somewhat imperfect art. So don't be too hard on yourself if you find you're saying "no" more than "yes," or punishing your child for a crime he doesn't even understand. Discipline, after all, is about teaching, and parents and kids learn together.

Copyright © 2001 AmericanBaby.com. Updated 2010.

All content here, including advice from doctors and other health professionals, should be considered as opinion only. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.

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Self-Regulation Snap Shot #1: A Focus on Infants and Toddlers

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March 29, 2018

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Introduction

Adult caregivers such as parents, teachers, coaches, and other mentors play a critical role in shaping and supporting self-regulation development from birth through young adulthood through an interactive process called “co-regulation.”

Purpose

This snapshot summarizes key concepts about self-regulation development and intervention for infants and toddlers for practitioners and educators interested in promoting self-regulation for this age group. It is based on a series of four reports on Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress prepared for the Administration for Children and Families (ACF). Visit the Toxic Stress and Self-Regulation Reports page for more information.

Highlights

Self-regulation skills developing in infants:

• Shifting attention or averting gaze when over overwhelmed

• Self-soothing by sucking fingers or a pacifier

Developing in toddlers:

• Focusing attention for short periods

• Adjusting behavior to achieve goals

• Briefly delaying gratification

• Beginning to label feelings

• Turning to adults for help with strong feelings

Key considerations for promoting self-regulation in infants and toddlers:

• Train teachers and child care staff in co-regulation skills, particularly warm interaction, responsivity to child cues, and environmental structure

• Identify ways to support school and child care staff’s own self-regulation capacity

• Share self-regulation information, ideas, and classroom approaches with parents/caregivers to support their co-regulation and promote consistency across environments

Glossary

Self-Regulation:

The act of managing thoughts and feelings to enable goal-directed actions.

Co-Regulation:

The supportive process between caring adults and children, youth, or young adults that fosters self-regulation development.

Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Toddlers in Classroom Settings… the development of self-regulation in young children: tips for practitioners working with toddlers in classroom settings …

Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Families in Home Settings… the development of self-regulation in young children: tips for practitioners working with families in home settings …

Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Preschool Children in Classroom Settings… the development of self-regulation in young children: tips for practitioners working with preschool children in classroom …

Introduction

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The preschool period in a child’s life is full of new experiences, new expectations, and new opportunities to build relationships. Children in this age group have great potential to develop their self-regulation skills with specific instruction, support, and scaffolding from caring adults.

Purpose

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This resource provides tips to help caregivers use co-regulation to support early development of self-regulation skills in preschool children in classroom settings. This is one of four early childhood practitioner tip sheets. For each of four groups of early childhood practitioners (i.e., those working with infants in childcare settings; those working with toddlers in classroom settings; those working with preschool children in classroom settings; and those working in home settings), these tip sheets provide the following: a review of key concepts related to self-regulation; a listing of the skills developing in that age group; six co-regulation tips for caregivers to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age; and specific details within each of the six co-regulation tips. Caregivers can use the tips provided within each resource to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age. Most of the material is based on the reports and briefs in the Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress Series (/opre/research/project/ toxic-stress-and-self-regulation-reports) prepared for the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) by the Duke Center for Family Policy and the UNC Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute.

Highlights

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• Six sets of tips are provided for practitioners working with preschool children in classroom settings:Start with you.Establish a warm and responsive relationship with each child.Create calm and structured childcare environments.Respond with warmth and structure during stressful moments and teach children how to solve problems.Work closely with parents.Create a sense of community.

• Preschool children can focus their attention on short, simple tasks, and become better able to control impulses and wait for longer periods.

• The actions of preschool children become shaped more by rules and goals and they are better able to understand other perspectives (a key component of empathy).

• The increasing language skills of preschool children help them to calm down and solve problems.

• Emotions are powerful drivers of behavior at this age and children need significant external structure and reinforcement to manage strong feelings and follow rules and directions.

• Positive relationships with caregivers are essential for cultivating preschoolers’ expanding skill sets.

Citation

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Pahigiannis, K., Rosanbalm, K. and Murray, D. W. (2019). Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Preschool Children (3-5 years old) in Classroom Settings. OPRE Brief #2019-29. Washington, DC: Office of Planning, Research, and Evaluation, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Glossary

Self-Regulation:

The act of managing thoughts and feelings to enable goal-directed actions.

Co-Regulation:

The supportive process between caring adults and children, youth, or young adults that fosters self-regulation development.

Toddlers (2-3 years of age)

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Developmental Milestones

Skills such as taking turns, playing make believe, and kicking a ball, are called developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like jumping, running, or balancing).

Because of children’s growing desire to be independent, this stage is often called the “terrible twos.” However, this can be an exciting time for parents and toddlers. Toddlers will experience huge thinking, learning, social, and emotional changes that will help them to explore their new world, and make sense of it. During this stage, toddlers should be able to follow two- or three-step directions, sort objects by shape and color, imitate the actions of adults and playmates, and express a wide range of emotions.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your toddler during this time:

• Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.

• Encourage your child to take part in pretend play.

• Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.

• Help your child to explore things around her by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.

• Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.

• Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.

• Give your child attention and praise when she follows instructions and shows positive behavior and limit attention for defiant behavior like tantrums. Teach your child acceptable ways to show that she’s upset.

Positive Parenting Tip Sheet

Toddlers (2-3 years of age) 

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Child Safety First

Because your child is moving around more, he will come across more dangers as well. Dangerous situations can happen quickly, so keep a close eye on your child. Here are a few tips to help keep your growing toddler safe:

• Do NOT leave your toddler near or around water (for example, bathtubs, pools, ponds, lakes, whirlpools, or the ocean) without someone watching her. Fence off backyard pools. Drowning is the leading cause of injury and death among this age group.

• Encourage your toddler to sit when eating and to chew his food thoroughly to prevent choking.

• Check toys often for loose or broken parts.

• Encourage your toddler not to put pencils or crayons in her mouth when coloring or drawing.

• Do NOT hold hot drinks while your child is sitting on your lap. Sudden movements can cause a spill and might result in your child’s being burned.

• Make sure that your child sits in the back seat and is buckled up properly in a car seat with a harness.

Healthy Bodies

• Talk with staff at your child care provider to see if they serve healthier foods and drinks, and if they limit television and other screen time.

• Your toddler might change what food she likes from day to day. It’s normal behavior, and it’s best not to make an issue of it. Encourage her to try new foods by offering her small bites to taste.

• Keep television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Set limits for screen time for your child to no more than 1 hour per day of quality programming, at home, school, or afterschool care and develop a media use plan for your family.

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• Encourage free play as much as possible. It helps your toddler stay active and strong and helps him develop motor skills.

• Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For toddlers 1-2 years, 11–14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

For More Information

• Infants and toddlers

• Preschool

• Middle childhood

• Adolescence

CDC’s “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” Campaign
For more details on developmental milestones, warning signs of possible developmental delays, and information on how to help your child’s development, visit the “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” campaign website.

CDC’s Parent Information (Children 0―3 years)
This site has information to help you learn how to give your child a healthy start in life.

CDC’s Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers
Learn ways you can help build a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship with your child.

CDC’s Breastfeeding Information
This site has answers to frequently asked questions about breastfeeding.

CDC’s Information on Infant and Toddler Nutrition
Tips for Parents – Ideas to help children maintain a healthy weight.

CDC’s Protect the Ones You Love
CDC’s Injury Center has information on how you can protect your child from drowning and other common causes of injury.

CDC’s Information on Vaccinations
View the immunization schedule for infants and children and find out if your child’s vaccinations are up to date.

My Plate – Infants

The U.S. Department of Agriculture provides information on health and nutrition for 2 through 5 years of age.

My Plate – Toddlers

The U.S. Department of Agriculture provides information on health and nutrition for toddlers

HealthyChildren.org

AAP’s Healthy Children website provides information on feeding, nutrition, and fitness for all developmental stages from infancy to young adulthood.

Just in Time Parenting

Quality, research-based information to families at the time it can be most useful.

Healthy Kids Healthy Future

You will find information on physical activity for young children and on ways to keep them moving.

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

 (NHTSA)

NHTSA has information on safety recalls and safety tips for children riding in motor vehicles, walking, biking, playing outside, waiting at school bus stops, and more.

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

 (NICHD)

Visit NICHD to learn how to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and about safe sleep environments.

World Health Organization information on infant nutrition

This site has information to promote proper feeding for infants and young children.

How to Discipline Toddlers

The toddler years are a good time to start teaching boundaries and encouraging good behavior from your child. We'll show you how.

When your 1-year-old screams for candy or throws food out of your cart at the grocery store, it's hard to know how to deal with their behavior. After all, a child this age is still too young to be disciplined, right? Not quite.

While tactics like time-outs or taking away privileges don't work well on toddlers (they aren't old enough to link cause and effect), this is actually a good time to introduce your child to the concept of right and wrong. "Parents often think of discipline only in terms of punishment, but the origin of the word is 'to teach,'" says psychologist Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph.D., author of Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood.

Read on to learn how to discipline your toddler with these simple strategies.

How to Discipline Young Children

IMAGE SOURCE/ VEER

"With 1-year-olds, discipline really should be more about socializing children and teaching them boundaries," says Dr. Roth Ledley. The following strategies are good for 1- 3-year olds:

• Distraction

• Consistency

• Staying positive

• Modeling

• Praise

• Humor

• Reverse psychology

• Silliness

• Fun

Try Distraction

Fight the urge to yell at your child when they act up, because your tone can either make them upset or curious. "Instead, quickly and calmly get them interested in another activity," says psychologist Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph.D., author of Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood. For example, if your toddler is climbing up on the sofa arm, gently move them onto the floor and start reading a book or playing with a toy together. Redirecting their attention not only puts a quick end to unwanted behavior, but it also teaches them over time that some things, like climbing on certain furniture, are off-limits.

Toddler Discipline Tips

Be Consistent

You might think that letting your crying child have a cookie before dinner "just this once" is pretty harmless. But giving in to your kid's demands encourages them to pitch another fit the next time they're not getting her way. "It's important to set limits and follow through on them again and again," says Gregory Oliver, a child psychologist at the Henry Ford Health System, in Detroit. You and your spouse also need to be on the same page when it comes to family rules. Sending your child mixed messages about whether they're allowed to splash in the bathtub or have to sit in a high chair when they eat could lead to confusion and frustration.

Keep It Positive

If you say the word "No!" to your child all the time, they may start to tune you out -- or worse, begin using it when they don't want to do something. "Save 'No!' for situations when safety is involved," says psychologist Deborah Roth Ledley, Ph.D., author of Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood. If they are reaching for the oven door, for instance, you should quickly say "No!" in a stern voice. But when your child's behavior isn't dangerous, phrase your command in positive words: Instead of saying "No! Don't take your shoes off in the car!" try: "Leave them on until we get home, and then you can run around without them."

Show How It's Done

Toddlers get more out of watching what you do than listening to what you say, explains Penny Donnenfeld, Ph.D., a New York City psychologist. If your child is too rough with another kid at a play-date, demonstrate the behavior you want by modeling it: say, "Let's hug Emma softly," then take your child's arms and guide them into a gentle hug. Or, if you have a hard time getting your child to brush their teeth before bed, make doing it together part of your nightly routine.

Praise Good Behavior

Sometimes, toddlers act out because they lack communication skills—and it's a surefire way to get your attention. That's why you should always let your child know you're pleased whenever they do something that you like or remembers to follow one of your rules (such as putting their coat on the door hook when he comes inside). By doing this, you'll teach them that good behavior will also get them the attention they crave from you—and they might just keep it up.

Disciplining Kids of Different Ages

Employ Humor

Doing something that contradicts what toddlers and preschoolers know to be true cracks them up because they're just figuring out how the world works. When you turn the familiar on its head, toddlers revel in the fact that they're in on the joke.

For example, Amy Hunter, of Mobile, Alabama, mother to Henry and Lukas, both 2, says there's one thing that amuses the twins without fail: objects other than a hat placed on the head. "They were screaming because they didn't want to be in their car seats. I decided to ignore them and calmly handed them each a book to read, put in a Mozart CD, and drove off. Soon there was silence, followed by giggles. I congratulated myself on my fine parenting, but when I peeked back, Luke had put the book on his head. Now, when we have meltdowns at dinner, the whole family will eat with napkins on our heads." Hunter adds that she will crawl very slowly up the stairs, as if she's a baby, to get the boys to follow her to the bath.

Similarly, Carol O'Reilly says she can only get her daughter Noula, 3, to rinse her hair in the bathtub by pretending the cup of water is coffee. "Noula will take the cup and say 'Here's your coffee, Mom,' and I spill it over her head and she laughs hysterically," O'Reilly says.

Use Reverse Psychology

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Telling your child to do the opposite of what you want them to do works because toddlers are contrary by nature and love to assert their independence.

When your 3-year-old refuses to eat dinner, you may feel like you're at the losing end of the struggle. But if you stop insisting they eat, see what happens:

"Chloe, eat your supper."

"I don't like it!"

"You love macaroni and cheese."

"No, I don't!"

"Okay, good. I'm going to go check on your brother, and I'll be right back, so don't touch that food because I'm going to gobble it all up."

Back in the kitchen a few minutes later, Chloe can barely contain herself. "Daddy, all gone!" she says, showing you the empty bowl.

"What?!" you exclaim in mock horror. "I was going to eat that!"

She laughs, Daddy laughs, and dinner is over.

Of course, this strategy has a limited lifespan. Your 5-going-on-16-year-old daughter may just roll her eyes if you try this. "Go ahead, Dad. It's all yours."

Say the Wrong Name

This one is similar to the shock-them-with-silliness strategy above. When you're locked in an argument, insert a different name-one they know is wrong-into the conversation.

When Scott Alexander's oldest child refused to stop playing to go pick up her brother from preschool, he said, "Come on, we have to go get Elmo!" The craziness of that statement ("Daddy, Elmo's not at Tommy's school!") distracted her from what she had been doing, allowing Alexander to get her out the door without a fight. (Of course, if your child is old enough to appreciate Elmo but not old enough to realize he can't possibly be waiting at the school, you're asking for trouble, but you'll at least get your child in the car.)

Try using this trick when your kids are insisting that only Daddy can pour their milk or read a story. (Response: "But I am Daddy!") This usually provokes screams of laughter, which moves things along somewhat.

More Fun Ideas

• Sing silly songs. Simply changing one word can delight kids to no end. Think "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Car."

• Make bath and bedtime fun. You can hang your arm over the edge of the tub and pretend to be distracted; when your kid inevitably gets water on your hand, act surprised.

• Play freeze tag. When the child says, "freeze," you must do so. It helps to be an inch away from tickling them and to mumble through frozen lips that they must unfreeze you!

Zones of Regulation Activities and Printables

What’s inside this article: Various Zones of Regulation activities and printable worksheets, which can be used by counselors, teachers, or parents, as supplemental activities for teaching and reinforcing concepts from The Zones of Regulation curriculum.

The key to successfully teaching the Zones of Regulation is to spend lots of time solidifying the Zones concepts through repetition and play-based learning activities.

These Zones of Regulation activities and printables will help you do just that.

If the Zones of Regulation is new to you, make sure you read this overview of the Zones for parents, first.

There are a few main components to the Zones that your child should learn sequentially to be successful.

Zones of Regulation Learning Objectives:

1. What the four zones are and which emotions belong to each zone.

2. How to identify which zone you are in

3. What triggers are cause you to move out of the green zone.

4. How to recognize what zone others are in

5. Strategies to move back to the green zone from yellow, blue, or red

6. Expected behavior vs unexpected behavior

7. Size of the problem

8. How your actions affect what zone other people are in (comfortable and uncomfortable thoughts)

Zones of Regulation Activities

These Zones of Regulation activities and printables all support the learning objectives above.

1. 22-Page Zones Bundle

I created this 22-page bundle of free zones of regulation printables to make it a bit simpler for people downloading a lot of items from this list. It contains all the freebies in the list, but you’ll also find some free printables exclusive to this bundle, such as “size of the problem” activities, and two different visuals of the four zones.

You can download this free bundle here.

1. Which Zone Would I Be In If…

This is a simple, printable matching game to help children think about the zones. There are 30 cards, each with a different scenario on it and a main matching page with the four zones, and instructions. 

Get your child to choose a card, read it, and then place it on top of the color zone that they think they would be in if the scenario happened to them.

There are no right or wrong answers in the game, the sole purpose is to get children thinking about the zones and about their feelings.

2. Which Zone are THEY in?

This game is a lot like the first game, only this time there are different images on the cards of various characters’ faces.

The goal of the game is for your child to analyze the character’s face to determine which zone they’re in.

Then they should place the image on top of the correct color zone.

This game helps children with perspective-taking and encourages them to pay attention to and recognize how other people are feeling.

3. Zones of Regulation Bingo

Zones Bingo from The Zones of Regulation has been adapted by Alex Hirsh for students familiar with Boardmaker® feelings visuals. I love this activity because it helps kids using boardmaker visuals (often children with autism) become familiar with the symbols for various emotions.

You can print the Zones Bingo from the official Zones website here.

4. When I Get Angry…

Help your child recognize what angry (red zone) feels like in their body.

Not everyone has the same physiological response to anger. Still, there are some pretty common responses, and we all experience some of them.

Go through each of the anger cues on the free printable with your child, and if they feel that the statement is true for them when they’re angry, color it red.

There are no right or wrong answers, everyone experiences anger differently, and this helps your child be more aware of what happens to them when they’re in the red zone.

5. When I Feel Sad

A lot of times when children feel sad, they actually behave angrily. It may be because they don’t really know what’s going on inside them.

This coloring activity helps get kids thinking about some of the hard feelings associated with sadness that they may feel too vulnerable to share aloud with others.

It creates an opportunity to open a conversation around sadness, where you can reinforce that sadness is normal, temporary, and they can share that feeling with you safely.

6. Anger and Sadness Booklet for Kids

Social scripts, lessons, discussion questions, and activities related to coping with anger and sadness. Fillable PDF format.

• Feeling mad social script ($4 value)

• Feeling sad social script ($4 value)

• Feeling grumpy social script ($4 value)

• Coping Skills for Anger and sadness ($6 value)

• Using Self-control script and STOP strategy ($3 value)

• Time & Space lesson and discussion ($3 value)

• Expressing feelings with I statements, lesson, and activity ($5 value)

• FEEL-mometer – measuring intensity of feelings ($5 value)

7. Interactive Zones Package

This package is available from Teachers Pay Teachers. It includes:

• Interactive nameplates

• “What Zone Am I In?” colorful reference cards

• “How Big is the Problem?” colorful poster with additional teaching visual

• “What Triggers Me?” graphic organizer

• daily visual schedule card

This package is excellently illustrated, and the interactive activities and reference visuals are great for elementary age kiddos.

The package is available on TPT here.

8. Don’t Take The Bait

Don’t Take The Bait is a game that I first played with my own kids after my son brought it home from school. They played this game at school as part of their Zones of Regulation curriculum.

This game helps children learn to identify their triggers. In the game, the “bait” is the trigger.

Kids have to choose an effective coping strategy to use, rather than negatively reacting to the trigger (bait).

Kids can act out different situations during the game, demonstrate coping strategies, and even have a little fun acting out negative reactions. It’s a fun way to practice the skills covered by the Zones.

You can get this game from TpT here.

9. Wheel of Emotions for Kids

This wheel of emotions is loosely based on Plutchik’s emotion wheel but themed around the zones of regulation. making it kid-friendly.

It’s created to be used as a tool for kids who can identify which zone they’re in, to start using more complex emotive words to describe their emotions.

10. Communication: Aggressive vs. Assertive

This is four-page printable can be used as a tool for teaching children to communicate assertively, rather than aggressively. (This is also included in the social skills mega bundle, learn more here)

This is helpful for children who become explosive when they don’t get their way.

11. Name One Thing…

This activity comes in fillable PDF format which is great for those doing distance ed or teletherapy, but you can print it out and use it as a worksheet, too.

Children are shown different, common emotions, and asked to name one thing that makes them feel that way.

This is free to download here.

12. Draw A Face – Zones Activity

Kids draw faces on four different, blank character illustrations – each one is wearing a shirt to represent one of the four Zones of Regulation.

Kids can draw a different face on each character to represent the zone they’re in. This helps with categorizing emotions by zone, as well as reading facial expressions.

13. Identifying The Zones Interactive Google Slides

You can use this in Google Classroom, for example, with students, or using Microsoft PowerPoint. There are drag-and-drop elements for children to sort based on Zone. Each slide has a different interactive activity that helps children practice identifying the Zones.

14. Inside Out Zones of Regulation Chart

This chart is illustrated with characters from the Inside Out movie to represent the four zones. It includes a list of emotions for each zone, as well as a short description of what a person may look like or act like in each zone.

15. Intro to The Zones Powerpoint Presentation

Official Zones of Regulation Posters

The official Zones of Regulation Posters are only available by purchasing them from Social Thinking.

This is where you can also access the curriculum and all of the other official learning resources.

The activities within this blog post are all adapted from the original Zones created by Leah Kuypers.

Schools, clinics, therapists, and counselors worldwide use the Zones Framework and activities such as these ones, to teach emotional self-regulation to children.

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An Overview of The Zones of Regulation: Curriculum and Learning OutcomesPositive Affirmations for Kids

Preschoolers (3-5 years of age)

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Developmental Milestones

Skills such as naming colors, showing affection, and hopping on one foot are called developmental milestones. Developmental milestones are things most children can do by a certain age. Children reach milestones in how they play, learn, speak, behave, and move (like crawling, walking, or jumping).

As children grow into early childhood, their world will begin to open up. They will become more independent and begin to focus more on adults and children outside of the family. They will want to explore and ask about the things around them even more. Their interactions with family and those around them will help to shape their personality and their own ways of thinking and moving. During this stage, children should be able to ride a tricycle, use safety scissors, notice a difference between girls and boys, help to dress and undress themselves, play with other children, recall part of a story, and sing a song.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some of the things you, as a parent, can do to help your preschooler during this time:

• Continue to read to your child. Nurture her love for books by taking her to the library or bookstore.

• Let your child help with simple chores.

• Encourage your child to play with other children. This helps him to learn the value of sharing and friendship.

• Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Explain and show the behavior that you expect from her. Whenever you tell her no, follow up with what he should be doing instead.

• Help your child develop good language skills by speaking to him in complete sentences and using “grown up” words. Help him to use the correct words and phrases.

• Help your child through the steps to solve problems when she is upset.

• Give your child a limited number of simple choices (for example, deciding what to wear, when to play, and what to eat for snack).

Positive Parenting Tip Sheet

Preschoolers (3-5 years of age) 

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[PDF – 771K]

Child Safety First

As your child becomes more independent and spends more time in the outside world, it is important that you and your child are aware of ways to stay safe. Here are a few tips to protect your child:

• Tell your child why it is important to stay out of traffic. Tell him not to play in the street or run after stray balls.

• Be cautious when letting your child ride her tricycle. Keep her on the sidewalk and away from the street and always have her wear a helmet.

• Check outdoor playground equipment. Make sure there are no loose parts or sharp edges.

• Watch your child at all times, especially when he is playing outside.

• Be safe in the water. Teach your child to swim, but watch her at all times when she is in or around any body of water (this includes kiddie pools).

• Teach your child how to be safe around strangers.

• Keep your child in a forward-facing car seat with a harness until he reaches the top height or weight limit allowed by the car seat’s manufacturer. Once your child outgrows the forward-facing car seat with a harness, it will be time for him to travel in a booster seat, but still in the back seat of the vehicle. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration 

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• [1.15 MB / 1 page]

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•  has information on how to keep your child safe while riding in a vehicle.

Healthy Bodies

• Eat meals with your child whenever possible. Let your child see you enjoying fruits, vegetables, and whole grains at meals and snacks. Your child should eat and drink only a limited amount of food and beverages that contain added sugars, solid fats, or salt.

• Keep television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Set limits for screen time for your child to no more than 1 hour per day of quality programming, at home, school, or afterschool care and develop a media use plan for your family.

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• Provide your child with age-appropriate play equipment, like balls and plastic bats, but let your preschooler choose what to play. This makes moving and being active fun for your preschooler.

• Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For preschoolers 3-5 years, 10–13 hours per 24 hours (including naps)

Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Preschool Children in Classroom Settings 

Current as of:

March 14, 2019

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Introduction

The first year of life is a critical time for infants to begin developing secure attachments with their parents and caregivers (secure attachment is when children know they can depend on adults to respond sensitively to their needs). This helps babies learn that their world is a safe place and it is an important foundation for self-regulation development. When babies transition to childcare outside of the home, they need to form relationships with other caregivers and learn through experience that their needs will be met.

Purpose

This resource provides tips to help caregivers use co-regulation to support early development of self-regulation skills in infants in childcare settings. This is one of four early childhood practitioner tip sheets. For each of four groups of early childhood practitioners (i.e., those working with infants in childcare settings; those working with toddlers in classroom settings; those working with preschool children in classroom settings; and those working in home settings), these tip sheets provide the following: a review of key concepts related to self-regulation; a listing of the skills developing in that age group; six co-regulation tips for caregivers to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age; and specific details within each of the six co-regulation tips. Caregivers can use the tips provided within each resource to support the specific self-regulation skills developing at each age. Most of the material is based on the reports and briefs in the Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress Series (/opre/research/project/ toxic-stress-and-self-regulation-reports) prepared for the Administration for Children and Families (ACF) by the Duke Center for Family Policy and the UNC Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute.

Highlights

• Six sets of tips are provided for practitioners working with infants in childcare settings: Start with you.

• Establish a warm and responsive relationship with each baby.Create calm and structured childcare environments.

• Respond with warmth and structure during stressful moments.Work closely with parents.Create a sense of community.

• Infants are sensitive to the emotions of adults and rely on caregivers to provide a calm and soothing presence, particularly during times of transition or distress.

• Infants can utilize simple self-regulation skills such as self-soothing or turning their attention away from upsetting situations, usually toward their caregiver, to seek comfort.

Glossary

Self-Regulation:

The act of managing thoughts and feelings to enable goal-directed actions.

Co-Regulation:

The supportive process between caring adults and children, youth, or young adults that fosters self-regulation development.

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Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children: Tips for Practitioners Working with Infants … the development of self-regulation in young children: tips for practitioners working with infants in classroom settings … 

How to Help Kids Express Big Feelings

By

Lauren Gaines

August 16, 2021

Although I’ve been through it many times, I can still feel my face turn bright red when my child is melting down in public. I know many parents have sympathy for me in the moment, yet I still feel like I want to hide behind a rock.

When my kids were little, I had one of this major meltdowns. We were walking my oldest child into preschool. Our second child was having an epic meltdown and crying hysterically. I was practically dragging the child in with my hand. Of course we were running late…

The crying was echoing through the building and I felt everyone look at me. One mom made a comment “it happens to all of us.”

Do you want to know the reason my child was crying? We didn’t get to listen to the entire Mary Poppins song in the car.

It’s funny now, right!? I know I’m not the only parents who has a child with BIG feelings.

Thankfully I learned a tool in graduate school for Psychology that helps kids express these big feelings easily.

Learning to express difficult feelings without a meltdown takes time and practice. But it is possible!

And your kids can learn how to identify negative feelings and express them using this tool.

This post may contain affiliate links for parentings tools we love.

Has this ever happened to you? Your child is UPSET, but they don’t know how to express their feelings without screaming and crying.

It always seems to happen at the most public places in the most inconvenient of times, doesn’t it!?

When I was taking my daughter to preschool I honestly wanted to run and hide! But life must go on and my kids need to learn things won’t always go their way. Life won’t always go according to plan.

How to Help Kids Express Big Feelings

When toddlers feel angry or frustrated their first reaction is to scream, hit, yell or cry. Of course this isn’t the best first reaction for public settings, but it’s important for you to understand this from a developmental perspective.

Please note, if you have a toddler, I highly recommend this strategy for toddler meltdowns!  If your kids are older, keep reading.

As kids get older, preschool or elementary age they can start to identify the feelings before an explosion.

Before we get to the strategy, kids need to be able to identify what anger, frustration or annoyance feels like.

You can teach children the skill of feeling identification easily with books! See my top 20 books to teach social emotional skills to young kids.

After kids are able to accurately identify their feelings, they can be taught how to handle these big feelings with the strategy below.

SO HOW DO WE DEAL WITH BIG EMOTIONS?

We all experience emotions like frustration and anger, but it’s how we handle these big emotions that makes the difference.

As parents it’s our job to guide our kids and model how to express these BIG emotions in appropriate ways. Sometimes this requires patience!

Here is a strategy I used for many years with my elementary students when I worked in the school system as a school psychologist.

HELP KIDS EXPRESS BIG FEELINGS BY TEACHING THEM TO USE I-STATEMENTS!

First, we need to know what an I-Statement is:

What is an I-Statement?

“I feel ____.”

or

“I feel ____ when you ____. Can you please ____?”

There are a few variations to I-statements. It can be as simple as “I don’t like when you take my toy.”

As kids get older it may sound like “I feel frustrated when you take the puzzle pieces I am using to put it all together. Can you please wait until I am done playing with it?” This is a great example of an I-Statement for kids.

So why should you use an I-Statement?

Expressing emotions with an I-statement helps the child get their feelings out in an appropriate manner. If their anger is due to a conflict with a friend or sibling, I-statements help conflict resolution!

The opposite of an I-statement is a you-statement.

Examples of you-statements include you always do whatever you want and you never think about what I want (fill in the blanks: you always ____ and you never _____). Kids who have big emotions often use these types of phrases.

You-statements made when a child is frustrated can escalate the situation quickly. No one likes being ridiculed or harshly criticized.

Instead of criticizing the other person with a you-statement, I-statements teach kids how to express how they feel.

Read more about I-Statements and You-Statements here.