EMOTIONAL REGULATION IS NOT EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION

I’ve talked a few times before about emotional regulation and how it can be a struggle for autistic people.  It’s an important skill to learn and a big part of emotional maturity.  But often, NTs(or Neurotypicals) around us will make us feel like any display of emotion (especially negative emotions) qualifies as dysregulation.  This is another form of gaslighting.  There is a difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression.

I think it’s the weirdest thing that some NTs will tell autistic people that we shouldn’t show our feelings because we’re “too much” or “overreacting” and then, when we’ve learned to suppress our emotions, turn around and call us unfeeling robots. 

You can feel your feelings and still be emotionally regulated. 

Read that again.

You can even show your feelings while still being emotionally regulated.

Emotional regulation means having a handle on your emotions rather than letting them overwhelm you.  If you are well-regulated, you feel the full range of human emotions, but none of them take over or incapacitate you.  And a well-regulated emotional response is in proportion to whatever is going on.

That last line is part of why autistic people can seem inherently dysregulated – we’re intense!  NTs often don’t get this because they think we’re reacting to small things; they don’t understand that what is small to them can be huge to us.  The world is intense to us, therefore our reactions are intense as well.  That’s not dysregulation, despite the fact that it can be off-putting to people.  It’s actually very much in proportion.

The key, as I’ve come to understand it, is to make sure that you are the one in control of your emotions, not the other way around.  And the only way to do that is to practice feeling your feelings.

This took me years to work out and I still have to fight to not be overwhelmed by my feelings sometimes, especially my anxiety, which can be literally paralyzing.

What I’ve figured out is that my feelings live just beneath the surface.  Scratch me and you’re going to get a burst of whatever I’m feeling at the moment, be that joy, goofiness, sadness, abandonment, love, depression, or whatever.  And sometimes, stuff just bubbles up to the surface and I need to FEEL THAT FEELING RIGHT THEN.  If I just go with it and spend a little time with the depression that pops up in the middle of an otherwise great day, it burns itself out after a bit and I can go back to having that great day.  It might take two minutes, it might take two hours, but I need to go ahead and just ride that emotional tide back to the shore where I can get settled again so that I can go on with my life.

The important part is that I don’t let that depression take over.  I feel it, without fighting it, and then I remind myself that I was having a good day before this bubbled up and I’d like to get back to enjoying it.  Kind of like in meditation where they tell you to “just notice your thoughts without judgement”.  I allow myself to feel it.  But I don’t let myself lash out at other people – that’s never ok.  Instead of going into a crying fit, yelling at people around me about how bad everything is, or blaming them, I can tell them I need a minute and excuse myself or let them know that I’m dealing with a bit of sadness that just came up and I could use some support.  Depending on who’s around me, support can make it all go more quickly.  This practice helps me not get overwhelmed by my emotions.

Here’s what emotional regulation is NOT:

Healthy emotional regulation is NOT an absence of emotion.  It’s not never showing your emotions.  It’s not always putting on a happy face in public and only crying or being angry behind closed doors.  That’s suppressing your emotions.

Emotional suppression seems to be what many NTs want from autistics.  They seem to feel that all our feelings, intense as they are, are “overreactions” or “out of control” and the only way they feel like we’re “in control” is if we don’t show any emotions at all. 

That’s unhealthy.

I spent a lot of my life holding everything in and never letting anyone see my feelings because I had been taught that if I showed any emotion, I was “taking on” or “throwing a fit”.  Parents and teachers disciplined me for it.  Romantic partners constantly told me to “calm down” whether I was upset or excited.  Because of this, I never learned to actually handle my emotions.  If you never feel them, you can’t learn to control them – it takes practice.  It took years of therapy and work for me to learn to feel my feelings.

And when I feel my feelings when they happen, without taking them out on others, it turns out that I CAN de-escalate, self-regulate, and be ok.  When I feel my feelings instead of locking them up, it turns out that they’re manageable, not monsters. 

All that suppression, all that thinking I was bad for feeling how I felt, had a lot to do with why I used to explode and get my emotional debris all over everyone around me.  I had no control because I had no experience dealing with my emotions. 

Healthy emotional regulation comes from experiencing your feelings, not from shutting them down or bottling them up.  The best thing you can do to improve your regulation is to practice feeling your feelings (with professional help if you need it) and not letting them hurt others.  It can be scary, but you’re strong and you can handle it.  You are allowed to feel all of your feelings and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Creating Your Own Rhythm Charts
A Tool For Harmonious Living

Rhythm doesn’t have to be this mysterious thing that we find ourselves searching for, and yet we’re not even sure how it looks. Rhythm doesn’t need to be out of our reach. In fact, it’s something we all already have. I’m here to encourage you to notice the rhythm you already have and use it as the foundation for building the family life (or adult life) that you want.

It can include your sensory delights or diet and/or journaling. It can include your peace plan or path for daily living. It can even include ways to refill your emotional cup or bucket for stressful times in your day. (The bucket represents your mental or emotional self. When your bucket is full of positive thoughts, compliments etc., you feel confident and energised. When you think negative thoughts or people say or do mean things to you, your bucket is emptied or depleted, like when we say, “I feel drained” or “I'm running on empty.”)

A Free Printable Guide by Little Oak  

Rhythm looks unique for all of us, because every family is different. We don’t need to be striving for picture perfect moments, because raising children is messy and imperfect and unpredictable.

But rhythm can support you, like a friend. Rhythm can be there for you on those days when everything feels hard. I encourage you to find rhythm because I want you to feel supported, so that you have something to rely on and so that the day to day activities flow with ease. 

Learn to feed your mind and body through rejuvenating blocks of time for sensory delights and pick me ups before the more demanding parts of your day with your children or work. Fortifying your mind and empowering your body for smooth transitions and less frustration is key to the goal of self regulation of our emotions.

FINDING RHYTHM IN YOUR DAILY FLOW 

I like to think of a daily rhythm as a series of routines and tasks combined in a harmonious flow. Once it’s there, you let your day unfold around it, allowing your daily rhythm to carry you as you quickly move from task to task.

Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education, spoke of rhythm as flowing with the breath. He said that the “right rhythm” is a balanced combination of activities where we breathe in or inhale and breathe out or exhale.

As a yoga instructor, I resonate with the idea that our daily routine should flow with our breath as we move from task to task. When we inhale, we immerse ourselves in internal or “being” activities. And when we exhale, we are primarily engaged in external or “doing” activities.

In other words, our daily rhythm should allow for both periods of expansion–-breathing out–where we relate to and take care of our external world with periods of –breathing in–where we refer to the inner world, or caring for ourselves with sensory delights and pick me ups through out or day..

The take-home is this. When you create your daily routine and weekly rhythm, you want to alternate between “being” and “doing.”  In other words, follow expansive or energetic activities with relaxing activities and support these quiet periods with busyness.

HOW DOES FOLLOWING A “RIGHT RHYTHM” HELP?

Right rhythms can help you use to power of habit to change your life.

When you perform active high energy activities or passive low energy activities at a similar time each day, your body, mind, and spirit will all be prepared for the task at hand; whether it is taking the dog for a walk, doing chores, running errands, eating lunch, spending time outside in fresh air and sunshine, meeting with an important client, or going to bed for the night.

There is no need to alter being and doing with every small step that you take. The idea is not to spend too much time at either extreme. Make sure your day flows between “being” and “doing” by alternating relaxing self-nurturing activities such as meditation, yoga, arts and crafts, eating, and spending time in nature, with external high energy activities such as working out or competing to do’s, errands, and chores.

Over time creating systems with the “right rhythm” can develop good habits and a powerful daily routine because it will prepare your mind and body for the type of task you have planned for each moment of your day. This is how you choose to create the life of your dreams… One habit, system, or goal at a time.

The primary goal is to turn everything you do daily and weekly into a habit that you no longer have to think about executing.

When you no longer have to think about what you need to do next, you will efficiently complete your daily goals. This simple task can free up the space required to do the things you have always dreamed of fitting into your schedule!

When you create your daily rhythm and weekly routine, you are establishing one long daily and weekly system or habit. Take your time, and do your best not to get discouraged. It takes time and effort to establish new habits. Once your most important daily systems and routines become a daily habit, they will support you even on the most challenging days. You may not know what to do next, but your rhythm will.

Just stay calm and go with the flow. You’ll know when you have found your groove when you move smoothly through your day without having to look at what comes next or think about your next activity–this is true freedom!

Podcast link

Tips for Creating a Calm Daily Rhythm — The Progress Project; 

Wish your days felt a little more calm right now? Today’s episode is going to give you 8 simple ideas for creating a calm daily rhythm that will reduce your stress level and give you the energy you need to last until the end of the day.

You’ll learn:

• How to discern which activities energize you vs which activities deplete you

• The easy way to keep mornings and evenings calm for everyone in the family

• How to structure your day in alignment with your mental and physical energy

• A few tips to reset your day whenever you need it

• One simple way to signal to yourself that you’ve got it together

… more

Family rhythms are just blocks of time that give way to harmony and humanity in the home. Think of them as a flow chart or a guide, not a schedule.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTION RULES EMOTIONAL REGULATION

When I was diagnosed with autism four years ago, my psychologist told me that my tentative bipolar diagnosis from when I was 19 was probably wrong – she said that I probably had “mood lability associated with autism”.  I had no idea what this meant, nor why she was saying this as though it were a known quantity.  I’d never heard of mood swings being an autistic trait.  But as I’ve learned more about how my brain works, I’ve learned that executive function is one of my biggest challenges and – surprise – executive function rules emotional regulation.

A REFRESHER ON EXECUTIVE FUNCTION

Executive function is a set of cognitive skills used by the brain’s frontal lobes to handle planning, organizing and prioritizing, initiating activity, inhibition, responding to change, and lots more besides.  This is the cognitive function that’s most affected by ADHD, making it hard to organize information, plan and finish tasks, and control our impulses long enough to focus.  It covers eight specific areas, one of which is emotional control.

Some clinicians separate executive function skills into “Cool” skills – our skill levels when we’re relaxed and at our best – and “Hot” skills – our skill levels when we’re under stress.  Obviously, nobody is at their best when they’re stressed, so some deterioration in executive function is expected.

It bears restating here that autistic people of all ages are always under stress from living in this world that isn’t made for us, so our executive functioning is never at its best.

HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO EMOTIONAL REGULATION?

Basically, executive function controls emotional regulation through a combination of inhibition and healthy response to change.  Together, these allow a person to make transitions easily and think through their emotions before acting on them. 

Conversely, executive dysfunction affects a person’s ability to identify and communicate their emotions.  It allows someone to be overwhelmed by an emotion, perhaps to the exclusion of other feelings, or to rapidly shift back and forth between feelings.  Executive dysfunction can also affect someone’s ability to modulate their emotional responses.  Just like some autistic people have trouble regulating the volume of their voice, this means that emotions may be out of proportion to the situation.  People may be overly upset at something small or seem to react coldly to larger issues.

If you’re under constant stress, whether you’re NT and going through a lot of problems or autistic and dealing with regular sensory and social overload, your executive functioning will suffer.

If, like most autistic people, you have some form of executive dysfunction or ADHD as a fun bonus to go with the sensory sensitivities and processing issues, you’re starting the race a hundred feet back with weights on your legs.

If it’s both, emotions are always going to be a challenge for you – and if there’s trauma into the mix, say, from bullying or abuse, that just adds another layer to the cake.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE?

What can you do to improve your emotional regulation and executive function? 

Short answer: Therapy.

Long answer: The right therapy for you and your specific issues.  This is much harder.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is where many therapists start.  It’s good for working through thoughts and feelings and beliefs, but it’s more about thinking through emotions than processing or modulating them.  It may or may not work with an autistic brain – it’s never worked for me and I’ve heard from other autistic people that it’s ineffective for them as well.  There’s no harm in starting with CBT, as long as your therapist is open to trying something else if it doesn’t help.

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) can be good for adults and can be especially helpful if there’s more to deal with like trauma or abuse.  DBT focuses more on taking responsibility for your emotions and their effect on yourself and others.  It also offers strategies for avoiding emotional overwhelm and processing emotions that feel “too big”.  If CBT doesn’t get good results, this is a good next step.

Medication can be a helpful option as well.  I know, it sounds a bit Twilight Zone to think of taking meds to control your emotions, but they can be useful.  ADHD meds improve all areas of executive functioning, which means they can help with emotional regulation from that side.  Anti-anxiety medication can cut down on excessive worry, test anxiety, or social anxiety, and in many cases that alone can help people maintain a more even keel.      

You have options.  Talk to your doctor and therapist to find the best course for you.

IT’S A CHALLENGE, NOT AN EXCUSE

Just because you have executive function issues does not give you the right to let your emotions explode all over the people around you.  You don’t get to say “I can’t control my emotions because I have ADHD/executive dysfunction, so you can’t be mad at me for anything I say or do”.  That’s childish, toxic, and abusive to those around you.  Remember Wheaton’s Law.

Knowing that emotional regulation is a part of executive function can offer more possibilities for managing your emotions – and I’m all for finding as many ways to attack a problem as possible!  Since stress makes executive functioning worse, try to avoid sensory stress as much as possible and counteract it with good sensory input.  

Make self-care a priority to manage anxiety.  Work on learning to identify and name your feelings with a Wheel of Emotions or other exercises so that you can talk about what you feel rather than letting it overwhelm you.  Try to anticipate obstacles so that they aren’t surprises – yes this is challenging for those of us with executive dysfunction, but isn’t it easier to deal with problems that you’ve already thought about?

Learning that my emotional regulation was connected to my executive dysfunction was a revelation for me.  The same process that makes my brain forgetful and distractible is the reason I can go from one emotion to the next in 0.07 seconds and come back down just as quickly once I get that initial burst out?  Who would have thought?  It’s at once a relief and a responsibility – I’m not at fault, and I’m not sick, and there are ways I can manage it.

Cheerful Rhythm Charts

Alerting & Calming Sensory Snacks {Free Printable}

Sensory Delights - Fuel or Calm Your Body Template

Just like everyone is different, each set of sensory delights will be different.  The activities, accommodations and/or strategies that are selected from the “menu” will reflect your child’s profile, needs, and individual interests.

Family Resources, Forms & Planners for Self Regulation 

My Favorite Gentle Daily Rhythm Chart

Find your Favorite Calming Techniques

HABITS/ROUTINES

 Emotional Regulation: Tips for Adults

How emotional regulated are you? 

HOW TO CREATE THE BEST DAILY RHYTHMN 

HOW TO FIND AND LIVE YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE

HOW TO BUILD LASTING SELF-ESTEEM

NOW TRENDING:

But what exactly is emotional regulation? 

Emotional regulation is the ability to respond to your own feelings and the feelings of others in an effective and constructive way. It’s also known as “emotionally intelligent” behavior, and it’s something that goes further than just not having a temper tantrum or keeping your cool.

When we’re stressed, anxious, or just having a bad day, it can be challenging to keep our emotions in check. In the midst of all that chaos, we may feel like there’s no way to get a handle on our feelings and regain control of our sanity. 

But don’t worry — you aren’t alone in feeling this way. It can be challenging at any point in life to manage your emotions and find peace within yourself.

Learning how to practice emotional regulation strategies can help you identify when you feel an emotion and give you tools for handling those emotions appropriately in future situations. 

The inability to manage your emotions can negatively impact any area of your life, from work performance and academic endeavours to personal relationships.

with some practice and patience, you can overcome these challenges and continue growing as an individual.

The first step is knowing how to practice emotional regulation in your everyday life so you can manage your stress levels better when they flare up again. Here are some tips on how to bring them back under control:

STEP 1: BECOME AWARE OF YOUR BREATHING

Your breathing pattern can be a clue as to whether you’re experiencing an emotion. For example, if you’re in a situation where you’re feeling anxious, you might notice that your breathing becomes shallow or rapid. 

Breathing exercises can help you calm down, regain your composure and regulate your emotions. Deep breathing is a great way to calm your body and bring your emotions back under control.

When you take slow, deep breaths, it sends a message to your body that everything is okay – your heart rate slows down, and your blood pressure drops. 

BREATHING EXERCISES

 Counting Breaths

This is a very simple breathing exercise. You’ll just count every time you exhale and put a number on it. Start with one and try to go up to 10. Once you hit 10, go back to one and keep going until you feel your anxiety level decrease.

 4-7-8 Breathing

This is a variation of the previous exercise. Place your tongue against the roof of your mouth, and breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds and exhale for eight seconds. Keep doing this until you feel calm.

 Mindful Breathing

This is one of the easiest ways to calm down. It’s a great beginner’s exercise, and you can do it anywhere. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath. This will take your focus off whatever is making you anxious and help you relax.

STEP 2: RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU’RE FEELING

This might sound too simple, but the first step to regulating your emotions is identifying the emotion you’re experiencing.

One way to help you do this is to use an emotion wheel. An emotion wheel is a chart that shows various emotions and their intensity levels. You can try out different wheels online and pick one that works for you. (Check out my feelings wheel here)

After you identify your emotion, spend a few minutes reflecting on it. Why do you feel the way you do? What situation led to the emotion you’re experiencing? Is there anything you can do to change the situation?

When you recognize an emotion, the next step is to figure out what needs to happen to keep it under control. 

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STEP 3: IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER

Once you’ve identified the emotion you’re experiencing and how intense it is, you can use that as a springboard to understand what might have triggered the emotion.

There’s no need to start a full-blown investigation, but taking a second to ask yourself what happened before the situation escalated can help you avoid the same problem in the future.

It’s important to note that most commonly, emotions don’t exist in a vacuum – one triggers the other.

If you feel overwhelmed or stressed out, you might find yourself feeling angry. You might be sad that your workload is so high and then feel guilty for being so stressed out. 

If you can identify the original trigger, you can figure out the best way to handle the situation to avoid these emotions in the future.

STEP 4: TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE AND RELAX

Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling and what triggered the emotion, you can use relaxation techniques to calm your body and mind.

They may not stop the emotion from happening, but they can help you get a handle on it as soon as it starts to take over.

You can try a few relaxation techniques, such as:

 Progressive muscle relaxation

This is a great way to relax your body. Focus on one part of your body at a time, and clench and then release that muscle.

 Visualization

This is a great way to calm your mind. Visualize yourself in a relaxing place, or think about something that makes you happy.

 Meditation

This is one of the best ways to calm your mind. There are many different types of meditation, and you can choose the one that works best for you.

STEP 5: FIND A HEALTHY WAY TO RELEASE THE EMOTION

This is when you’re ready to let go of that emotion and move on. 

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle emotions. Healthy ways include talking to friends and family members, journaling, going for a walk, and using positive self-talk.

Unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions include drinking too much, engaging in risky behavior, and isolating yourself from the people around you. 

When you feel ready to let go of an emotion, try to find a healthy way to release it and move on. Journaling is a great way to express your emotions and get them out of your system.

If you feel like you’re holding on to an emotion, consider what’s holding you back from letting it go. Try and get all those feelings out on paper. 

COACHING AND COUNSELING SESSIONS

If you feel like you’re struggling to regulate your emotions, you might benefit from talking to a professional.

You can find a therapist or counselor that specializes in emotional regulation and ways to cope with negative emotions. 

You can also try online therapy and see if it helps you feel better. If you’ve tried all of the above and you’re still struggling to keep your emotions in check, therapy might be the best option for you.

A therapist can help you learn new techniques for regulating your emotions and improving your coping skills.

You can also work on identifying unhealthy thought patterns and behavior patterns and start to change them so that you feel better overall. 

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

Are you expecting too much of yourself? Sometimes, our expectations of ourselves are too high, and this can cause emotional frustration. 

How can you regulate your emotions when you’re expecting too much from yourself? Here are some tips:

 Accept your imperfections

We are human, and we all have faults. You cannot be perfect 100% of the time, so don’t expect yourself to be. Accept your imperfections, and you’ll feel less frustrated with yourself.

 Take care of yourself

You cannot be 100% there for yourself and other people if you’re not taking care of yourself first. You have to look after number one.

 Be thankful

Be thankful for all the good things in your life. This will help you stop focusing on the negative and appreciate what you have.

 Avoid negative self-talk

Don’t put yourself down. You are enough just the way you are.

HOW TO PRACTICE EMOTIONAL REGULATION – CONCLUSION

Emotional regulation is an important part of being an adult. It’s important to understand your emotions and how they affect you as well as others around you.

However, not all adults are able to successfully regulate their emotions, especially if they have had little experience in the past. If you’re having a hard time regulating your emotions, don’t worry – it’s not something that happens overnight. 

It takes practice, and it takes patience. You can improve your ability to regulate your emotions by becoming more aware of your own feelings and those of others, identifying triggers and practicing techniques like journaling and meditation. 

By practicing emotional regulation techniques, you can develop techniques for managing stress and negative feelings so that they no longer control you.

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When our emotions get the best of us, it can be challenging to cope with them. The result is that we may act in ways that are not aligned with who we are as an individual.

These out-of-character moments are commonly referred to as “emotional breakdowns,” “episodes,” or “crises.” However you refer to these moments, coping with them effectively is key.

 Emotional
Self-Regulation in Stressful Situations

It’s good to have strong feelings. A person’s health and happiness depend on their ability to deal with their feelings and act correctly. Negative feelings can keep returning if you can’t self regulate your emotions. It can also have negative effects on your relationships with other people.

What is emotional self-regulation?

Emotional self-regulation is the ability to manage one’s own emotions and behaviors in order to achieve a desired outcome or to achieve a sense of emotional well-being. It involves the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions, to manage them in a way that is healthy and productive, and to respond to the emotions of others in a way that is empathetic and appropriate. Emotional self-regulation is an important skill that can help individuals cope with stress, make better decisions, and build healthy relationships. It is a key aspect of emotional intelligence and is something that can be developed and strengthened over time through practice and self-awareness.

How to develop emotional self-regulation?

Self-regulation lets you act in line with your deepest values or sense of social responsibility and express yourself in a healthy way. If you want to do well in school, you won’t slack off before a test and will instead study.

At its most basic, self-regulation helps us be more resilient and get back on our feet after failing, while also keeping us calm when things get tough. Researchers have found that being able to control yourself is linked to a number of good health outcomes.

Here are several strategies that can help you develop and strengthen your emotional self-regulation skill set:

1. Practice mindfulness

Paying attention to your emotions in the present moment can help you become more aware of your emotional states and better manage them. Mindfulness means paying nonjudgmental attention to the present moment. Mindfulness means paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without trying to change them. This can help us become more aware of and control our feelings.

You can get better at recognizing and naming things if we pay close attention to them as they happen. This can help us learn more about where our feelings come from and how to control them.

It is learning to pay attention to our feelings without letting them control us through regular practice. With this information, we can better keep our cool and deal with strong emotions.

By developing a state of mindfulness, you can slow down your thoughts and make better decisions.

The more we practice being mindful, the more aware we become of our own and other people’s feelings. If we can do this, it can help us treat people with more empathy and compassion, which can make our relationships with them stronger.

Overall, practicing mindfulness can be a powerful tool for developing emotional self-regulation. It can help us become more aware of our emotions and manage them healthily.

2. Use relaxation techniques

Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation can help you calm your mind and body and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. When it comes to dealing with strong emotions, these techniques can be especially helpful because they can help calm the mind and body and reduce feelings of anxiety and tension.

Slow, deep breathing has been shown to have a calming effect on both the body and the psyche. Anxiety and stress are two conditions where this method can be extremely useful.

This method entails systematically contracting and relaxing sets of muscles. As a result, you’ll feel less muscle tension and more calm.

Concentration is developed by the practice of meditation, which entails bringing one’s attention and focus to bear on one thing at a time. It has the potential to lessen anxiety and boost health.

Yoga is a practice that can calm the body and mind via the use of specific postures, breathing methods and meditation. One such method is called “visualization,” and it entails conjuring up a serene mental scene in order to induce a state of relaxation. Because of this, you may find that your anxiety and stress levels decrease.

Regular relaxation techniques can help improve emotional self-regulation by reducing stress and increasing feelings of calm and relaxation. This can make it easier to manage strong emotions and cope with difficult situations.

3. Identify triggers

Try to become aware of what triggers strong emotions in you and think about ways to manage these triggers. We can take action to prevent or deal with our triggers more skillfully when we can recognize them.

By figuring out what sets us off, we can better understand what makes us feel how we do and how to deal with them.

If we know what sets us off, we can avoid them or get ready for them ahead of time. This can make it easier to control our feelings when things are hard.

Once we know what sets us off, we can think about how to deal with them better. This could mean learning how to relax, asking for help from friends or family, or finding healthy ways to deal with our feelings.

Finding triggers can be a crucial first step in controlling your emotions. It can assist us in becoming more cognizant of our emotions and better able to control them in a positive, constructive manner.

4. Use cognitive reframing

This involves changing your thoughts about a situation to change your emotional response. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” try thinking, “I may struggle with this at first, but I can learn and improve with practice.”

All this means is looking at a problem or challenge from a different point of view and finding a way to think about it that is more positive or realistic. This can help lessen bad feelings and make you feel more in control and hopeful.

We can lessen negative feelings like anger, irritation, or despair by choosing a more positive way to think about a problem.

It can make people feel like they have more control over their lives. When we feel helpless, it’s easier to let negative emotions take over. Cognitive reframing can help us find ways to take control and feel more in charge of our lives.

Finding a more positive way to think about a problem or issue can make us more optimistic and give us more faith in our ability to handle hard situations.

If you look at a problem from a new angle, you may find a solution that hasn’t been thought of before.

Ultimately, cognitive reframing can be an effective technique for controlling emotions and enhancing emotional self-regulation. It can assist us in developing more optimistic and practical approaches to overcoming obstacles and solving difficulties.

5. Seek support

It can be helpful to talk to a therapist or other mental health professional about your emotions and how to manage them. You can also turn to trusted friends and family members for support.

When we’re having a hard time with strong feelings or hard situations, it can help to talk to someone we trust about how we feel and what’s going on. This can give us a sense of understanding and connection, make us feel less alone, and help us deal with our feelings better.

When you don’t have anyone to talk to, it’s hard to keep your feelings in check. If we ask for help from other people, we might feel like we’re part of a group.

Talking to someone about how we’re feeling and having them affirm and understand us is a powerful way to feel heard and less alone in our emotions.

Talking to someone who sees things from a different point of view could be helpful. They might be able to give us advice or information that will change how we see things and make us feel more in control of how we feel.

It might make you feel less alone and more accepted when you’re going through hard times, and it seems like no one else understands what you’re going through. If we ask for help from other people, we can feel less alone and more understood.

Getting help is often a big part of handling your feelings. It can give us a sense of connection, understanding, perspective, and validation, which can help us feel more in control of our emotions and better deal with hard situations.

6. Practice self-care

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you feel more balanced and in control of your emotions. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

When we do things for ourselves, we take care of ourselves and put money into our overall health. This is especially important when dealing with strong emotions or hard situations because self-care can help us feel more balanced and in control of our feelings.

Stress can negatively impact our health and happiness in many ways, but taking care of ourselves through exercise, relaxation methods, or interest-based pursuits can help.

Engaging in enjoyable and soothing activities can uplift us and help us feel more in control of our emotions.

Self-care is an investment in our own pleasure and health, and it can offer us a feeling of control over our lives. This may give us the impression that we control our life and emotions.

Exercise, a healthy diet, and enough sleep are examples of self-care practices that have been found to improve physiological health, improving mental health.

Self-care is an important part of learning to control your emotions. It can make us feel more emotionally stable and in charge, which is good for our overall health.

7. Use problem-solving skills:

When faced with a difficult situation, try to identify the problem, brainstorm potential solutions, and take action to implement the best one. This can help you feel more in control of the situation and less overwhelmed by your emotions. We can feel more empowered and in charge of our life and our emotions when we handle difficulties in this way.

We frequently feel more in control of our lives and our emotions when we can identify and handle issues.

Solving problems is an excellent method to reduce stress and increase enjoyment, which can help cope.

It can improve our mental health by giving us a framework for resolving issues, enabling us to make more informed and deliberate decisions.

By promoting the development of numerous, workable solutions to a particular problem and the subsequent adoption of the one that appears to be most promising, it can help with problem-solving and the development of emotional mastery.

Using problem-solving skills is a big part of learning how to keep your emotions in check. It can help us feel like we have more control over our lives, deal with stress, make better decisions, and solve problems.

Remember that emotional self-regulation is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Be patient with yourself and try to focus on making progress, rather than achieving perfection.

Why it’s necessary self relegate emotions? 

Extreme feelings can make it hard to think clearly and act in a sensible way. Getting better at controlling our emotions can help us deal with problems with a clearer head and make better decisions.

Having a handle on your feelings can help you get past problems and failures. This can make us more able to deal with stress and get through hard times.

To respond appropriately and with empathy to the feelings of others, you have to be able to control your own feelings. It can help us get along better with other people and make the relationships we already have stronger.

Managing our emotions well can make us feel more in charge of our lives and give us a better sense of well-being. This could make people happier and more satisfied with their lives.

In Conclusion

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has said or done something they wish they could take back. To keep your emotions stable, you need to be able to put off getting what you want as a way to deal with bad feelings.

You can consider things through before you take action if you can control your emotions. It also permits you to adopt a more optimistic perspective on events.

It takes practice to develop emotional self-regulation. Exercise, getting proper sleep, and mindfulness techniques are among possible solutions.

A therapist may be helpful if you’re having difficulties controlling your emotions or your anger.

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What’s Your Superpower? Take the Quiz

Do you ever feel like you’re struggling to accept yourself? Are feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy holding you back from living your best life? It’s time to break free from the cycle of negativity and embrace the unique strengths that define you.

We’ve put together a quiz that helps you to uncover your hidden superpowers to pave the way to self-acceptance.

By understanding your true superpower, you’ll be able to see yourself in a whole new light, appreciating your individuality and the qualities that make you special. No more comparing yourself to others, no more feeling lost or unworthy. It’s time to own your uniqueness and empower yourself to thrive in every aspect of life.

Don’t let self-doubt hold you back any longer. Take our superpower quiz and start your journey towards self-acceptance and personal fulfillment.

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